Everyday Ignatian is a series written by guest contributors, chronicling their daily lives and experiences through the lens of Ignatian spirituality. This year, we’re excited to introduce a special theme for 2025: Virtues, or Gifts of the Spirit. Featuring writers Alli Bobzien, Catherine Sullivan and Jennifer Sawyer, along with select guest authors, Everyday Ignatian will highlight stories that explore the quarterly themes of prudence, patience, solidarity, and gratitude — and the impact they have on our lives today.
When I was in my mid-20s, feeling burnt out by my work in television production and looking for a career shift, I spent weeks bouncing around to job interviews. I had the good fortune of being offered two great jobs — one in New York City, where I lived, and one that would require a relocation to Chicago. To an outsider, it seemed like an abundance of blessings, especially at a time when I really hoped to make a change, but the impending decision between career moves only caused me to panic as the reality of making a choice that could potentially change my life set in.
The next week felt like a year as I agonized over the choice, frantically calling friends and family for advice, making lengthy pros and cons lists, poring over the offers and laying in bed, anxious and unable to sleep as I contemplated all of the things that could potentially go wrong. There were tears, nausea and a growing inability to trust my own judgement as I flipped back and forth between choices depending on the hour.
I’ve never had an easy time with decision-making. Making both big decisions, like deciding where to attend college, and smaller everyday ones, like deciding where to buy lunch, often triggered emotional reactions, leaving me unsettled and anxious, weighed down by wonderings of whether or not I made the “right” choice. What if the other school would hold more opportunities for me? What if that other sandwich shop was actually way more delicious?!
Needless to say, the virtue, or spiritual gift of prudence, is not the easiest on my list of principles to live by. Sure, I can practice right judgement when it comes to obvious examples of avoiding evil and practices that might harm myself and others, but when I’m presented with more everyday, mundane opportunities to practice good decision-making, things get a lot murkier.
Looking back at my time of career transition, I wish I had known more about Ignatian discernment, and how I might turn to the saint to help with good decision-making. After all, Ignatius placed a high value on the gift of prudence when it came time to weighing the options and thoughtfully discerning God’s plan.
Inviting God into the process
While I did pray about my decision, my prayer of God help me make the right choice was a touch more demanding than St. Ignatius’ suggestion to consider how my skills and talents could be used for the greater glory of God in either role. Taking a thoughtful inventory of the gifts that God has blessed me with, and thinking about how they could have been applied to the qualifications of each position might have helped me focus less on the anxiety of choice and more on the potential to do good in my future work.
Discerning consolation and desolation
Practicing Ignatian discernment could have helped me take my pros and cons lists to the next level. As I looked over the lists and imagined myself in each role, where did I feel consolation — feelings of peace, calm, hope or love? And where did I feel desolation — feelings of restlessness, doubt or turmoil? Paying more attention to the interior movements happening may have offered more clarity than the list of bullet points in my notebook.
Trusting the choice
Reflecting back at that time in my life, I realized that I was so preoccupied with making the right choice that I was resisting making any choice at all. St. Ignatius knew that no decision comes with absolute certainty, and embracing that reality might have helped me feel more confident in making a good choice rather than a perfect one, and then moving forward in peace.
Looking back
Ignatius said, “Prudence has two eyes, one that foresees what one has to do, the other that examines afterward what one has done.” After lots of agonizing, I made the decision to accept the job in New York City. In examining the choice today, I can see in hindsight how God was working through the next chapter of my life. Ten years later, I’m still working at the same organization in a fulfilling role, and staying in New York allowed me to nurture both my friendships and a relationship that ultimately led to marriage.
Today, I still feel the initial flush of anxiety when faced with an important decision, but remembering that St. Ignatius offers me a spiritual framework for working through it brings me a newfound sense of peace and confidence in my own judgement. It’s not always a perfect process, but with Ignatius’ encouragement, maybe I am embracing the spiritual gift of prudence after all.
