Now Discern This: The Big Feelings Examen

Standing at the cusp of a new year brings to the surface a lot of feelings.

  • Anticipation and hope: What new opportunities will this year bring?
  • Fear and anxiety: Will I be enough to meet the many challenges of this year?
  • Loneliness and grief: I’ve lost a loved one; I’m looking for belonging. Can this year give me what I need?
  • Joy and delight: My days are full of wonder! What new insights into my amazing self will I learn this year?

There are countless more. Our feelings give us essential insight into who we are now in this world, who we are becoming and — importantly — how God’s Spirit is tugging at our souls, daring us to pay attention to our deepest selves.

As we begin this new year and close out the Christmas season, I invite you to pray this modified examen. My prayer for each of us as we cross the threshold into 2025 is that we bring with us greater understanding into who we are so that we might continue to become the person God dreams we might yet be.

Let’s begin.

What are you feeling right now? Recognize God’s presence in these feelings — the good and the bad. You are wonderfully made, and so even in these feelings in this moment, there is something wonderful to uncover. God is there in the wonder and the delight. Name these feelings in the company of God’s Spirit.

Give thanks for what you are feeling because in these feelings God has placed breadcrumbs for you to discover a deeper knowledge of yourself. With gratitude comes trust; do you trust God’s Spirit at work here, now? Do you trust God’s Spirit as the Spirit leads you to a fuller understanding of self? We are grateful because we trust God’s goodness.

Follow the breadcrumbs. When and where have you felt these feelings before? Identify moments from the past years when these same feelings surfaced within you. Call to mind the faces of the people who helped you process these feelings. Call to mind the activities you participated in to work through these feelings. See God at work in these people, in these places, in these simple actions. If these feelings were sources of consolation, what were the fruits of these moments? If these feelings were sources of desolation, how did you begin to return to yourself and your community? Look for the patterns. God is in the patterns.

Chart a path. As you gaze out at the year to come, when do you anticipate feeling this way again? The anniversary of a dear one’s death, an opportunity to apply for a new job, the birth of a new life, a move that will take you away from friends and family — these are some of the moments in this coming year you might already see clearly. These are some of the moments in this coming year that you might already know will be charged with the feeling you now feel. How can you trust in the same God who has carried you to this point? How can you anticipate the consolation or desolation that may resonate in that moment? How can you chart a path that will bring you through, despite great joy or great suffering?

Recommit to God’s dream. St. Ignatius always kept at the forefront of every decision the desire to most effectively live out God’s will for all creation. This meant choosing that which would serve the greater glory of God and the good of all people in every moment of his life. As we end our examen, let us remember that our feelings can help us discover God at work in our lives, but ultimately our choices must flow from that same Ignatian desire: How can we best serve God’s greater glory and the good of all people?

Our feelings help us get in touch with who we are now, with who we are becoming. And who we are becoming allows us to better serve God and God’s people through the application of our unique gifts and vocation. Allow your feelings to propel you into the work of Christ.

Sometimes we’re called to feel uncomfortable — that’s okay. Together, let us trust that God is at work in the discomfort and let us commit ourselves to labor with Christ to bring about God’s dream for our world.

Amen.

Eric Clayton is the deputy director of communications at the Jesuit Conference of Canada and the United States. In his role, he manages the award-winning weekly column “Now Discern This,” a series on Ignatian spirituality and everyday living, as well produces video, audio and other digital content to share the riches of Ignatian spirituality with a general audience. Eric is also the author of two books on Ignatian spirituality: “My Life with the Jedi: The Spirituality of Star Wars” and  “Cannonball Moments: Telling Your Story, Deepening Your Faith”, both from Loyola Press. A third book on Ignatian spirituality and peace is forthcoming from Brazos Press in 2025. Learn more: ericclaytonwrites.com.

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